I wanted to deny that I hadn’t cried in front of him, but my eyes were already brimming with tears, blurring my vision.

It seemed pointless to lie, so I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and said,

“Nu, something got into my eye.”

Ascan didn’t respond. In the blink of an eye, he approached where I stood and simply handed me a handkerchief.

Helplessly, I accepted the handkerchief Ascan offered and wiped away the unstoppable tears.

‘I must be crazy. This is so foolish.’

Suppressing the surging emotions, I forced myself to lift my head as if nothing were wrong. My eyes were probably red, but I didn’t want him to see how I truly felt inside.

─I don’t know what kind of extraordinary memories we supposedly share, enough for you to offer taking an arrow in my place, but I have no intention of being bound by a past I can’t even remember.

I recalled what Ascan had said before.

Standing before me was Ascan. But he could not share memories with me.

Because I remembered his words, I didn’t want to awkwardly bring up old stories.

Ascan stared at me with a complicated expression. Naturally, he seemed unable to understand why I had suddenly started crying.

Hating the awkward atmosphere forming because of me, I spoke first.

“Why didn’t you have dinner?”

“…I didn’t really feel like eating.”

“You still have to eat. You don’t always eat just because it tastes good. Sometimes you eat just to survive.”

After Ascan disappeared, I mechanically stuffed food into my mouth for a while. Thinking back to that time now, I trailed off.

I shook the handkerchief Ascan had just given me and said briefly,

“Then I’ll wash this and return it to you.”

Just as I finished speaking and hurried toward the door of the study, Ascan’s unexpected voice stopped me.

“Would you like to have a cup of herbal tea together?”

Honestly, I never expected Ascan to make such a suggestion first.

I turned to look at him with a surprised expression. After a moment’s hesitation, I gave a slight nod.

Ascan picked up the tea set first and sat down in the center of the study. Soon after, I approached and sat across from him.

As Ascan poured the herbal tea, he asked softly,

“Do you like herbal tea?”

At such an insignificant question, my barely settled emotions stirred again.

I had loved herbal tea immensely. That was why, ten years ago, Ascan prepared it for me every single day without fail.

That memory remained vividly clear to me, yet Ascan asked this question with an expression as if he knew nothing at all—it suddenly made me unbearably sad.

I could only realize once again: Ascan truly remembered nothing.

“…I like it. I used to drink it often.”

Ascan glanced sideways at me.

Somehow, his gaze seemed to linger particularly on the part where I said “I like it.”

Wearing an unreadable expression, Ascan spoke in a low voice,

“I also like it and drink it often. But seeing you bring tea like this, I suppose the butler must have asked you.”

“Yes, while returning after dinner, I met Bishop…”

Smoothly, Ascan handed me the cup of herbal tea he had just poured.

For ten years after he disappeared, I hadn’t drunk a single cup of herbal tea. Receiving it again from him now, I felt deeply moved.

Not wanting to show it, I bit down on the soft flesh inside my mouth to hold back.

Afraid of looking awkward, I picked up the hot teacup and took a sip.

But the moment the herbal fragrance spread in my mouth and I tasted the tea, I could no longer suppress the emotion welling up deep inside my chest.

“…Hic.”

A sob escaped through my lips.

I lowered my head, still holding the teacup. I didn’t want him to see me like this, yet I could feel tears endlessly falling.

No, no, no…..

No matter how many times I repeated it silently, it was too late.

I remembered all the time I had spent searching for Ascan. Perhaps, even with his memory lost, Ascan had missed me while drinking herbal tea—this thought kept coming back, hurting my heart.

I should have found you sooner……

No, I should never have left you alone like that ten years ago……

Regret, long settled in a corner of my heart, surged forward like a flood.

As I silently wept, Ascan spoke in a subdued voice,

“Lady Brellof.”

I bit my lip hard, swallowed my sobs, and glanced sideways at Ascan.

Uncharacteristically, Ascan looked utterly flustered. His stiff expression clearly showed he didn’t know what to do.

“Did I make some mistake?”

“No, no.”

“Then why…?”

“Sorry. I was just reminded of the past.”

Ascan probably disliked dredging up memories he couldn’t even recall, but now that it had come to this, I could no longer hide it.

Predictably, Ascan’s eyes darkened.

When he suddenly stood up, I thought he was going to leave the study and abandon me.

But unexpectedly, he fetched a blanket from behind and draped it over my shoulders. Thanks to that, I felt an unexpected warmth.

When I looked up at him with puzzled eyes, he said softly,

“I’ve never comforted anyone before, so I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know why you’re crying, but if you’re sad, cry as much as you need. I’ll stay beside you if you want me to.”

At those words, the dam I’d built inside my chest collapsed, and sorrow poured out uncontrollably.

Covering my eyes with both hands, I cried loudly like a child.

It felt as if I was finally shedding the tears I couldn’t dare let fall when Ascan had gone missing.

I cried so long I lost track of time, until I finally came to my senses.

The fact that I now worried about how strangely I must have looked meant my overwhelming emotions had calmed considerably.

Sensing my sobs gradually subsiding, Ascan—who until now had remained silent—finally spoke for the first time.

“Shall I get you another hot cup?”

“…Yes.”

Ascan summoned an unextinguishable flame and began reheating the cold teacup.

From warming my bed last time to reheating this teacup now, I felt slightly guilty for making him use his high-level abilities for such trivial things.

Ascan handed me the reheated herbal tea and said,

“Drink.”

Silently, I nodded and took another sip of herbal tea.

Perhaps because I had cried thoroughly, my emotions no longer surged as intensely as before.

The herbal tea simply tasted incredibly delicious after so long. Whether then or now, the herbal tea he handed me always felt different somehow.

As I sipped the tea quietly, Ascan watched me for a while, then asked softly,

“May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“What was I like, in your memory?”

I hadn’t expected Ascan to ask such a question. But I saw no reason not to tell him.

I carefully recalled the boy he had been ten years ago.

“Kind.”

Even though the original Tanashia had tormented him with whippings, he forgave me after his attitude changed—that alone proved his inherently gentle nature.

“Pure.”

I remembered how startled he looked when I tried to unbutton his shirt while he lay injured in bed because of Reiana.

Unconsciously, I smiled.

“Loyal.”

Though he’d initially felt robotic, he always anticipated and brought me what I needed without me asking.

As I smiled, reminiscing about those days, I looked at the Ascan before me. But his expression had changed slightly, oddly.

“That… was me?”

“Yes. That’s the you I remember.”

“Could you be mistaking me for someone else?”

“No?”

Ascan stared at me with eyes that clearly couldn’t believe it.

“If I didn’t become a completely different person after losing my memory, that’s impossible.”

“No. It was all you. You forgave my mistakes generously, you were pure enough to shy away when I approached, and loyal enough to always bring what I needed without being told.”

“That can’t be. I must have pretended to forgive you while waiting for a chance to take revenge, and pretended loyalty while harboring ulterior motives.”

Thinking about it, I couldn’t entirely refute that. After all, Ascan had been plotting to escape the Brellof family.

But ultimately, it was he who had said he would stay by my side.

Therefore, I couldn’t fully accept Ascan’s words. Some parts were true, but the sincerity he showed me had never been duplicitous.

“That’s not true. The you I knew… was a self-sacrificing person.”

At my words, Ascan furrowed his brow.

After pondering deeply, he spoke with a resigned expression,

“If you say so, then I’ll accept it as such. You seem calmer now—I’ll escort you to your room.”

“It’s fine. I can go alone.”

I put down the teacup and stood up. Then, looking at Ascan seated right in front of me, I slowly continued,

“…Thank you.”

At my sudden words, Ascan’s eyes flickered with puzzlement.

“For staying beside me while I cried. That must have meant nothing to you now, yet you didn’t push me away.”

Ascan didn’t respond. He only stared at me with an unreadable expression.

As I headed toward the study door, Ascan followed behind.

“Wait. Since it’s your first time here, you might get lost…”

But he stopped speaking when he saw me open the door to the room directly opposite.

Ascan looked at me with a slightly exasperated expression and continued,

“Is that where you’re staying?”

“Yes, here. So I told you, no need to escort me.”

Normally, as Ascan said, being new to the mansion, I might have gotten lost. But his study was practically within arm’s reach, so that was impossible.

Smiling, I closed the door and said,

“Sleep well.”

Crying so thoroughly had drained my energy. Moreover, I’d just completed a grueling journey and arrived at this comfortable mansion after so long.

I hurriedly prepared for bed and lay down on the plush mattress.

Staring quietly at the unfamiliar ceiling, I recalled Ascan’s exasperated gaze from earlier and couldn’t help smiling.

But suddenly, one question occurred to me.

‘Earlier, Ascan said the story I told him didn’t sound like himself.’

At the time, I thought that made sense. But now, something nagged at my mind.

In the novel , Ascan was the ultimate villain. What he desired was the destruction of everything.

The Arwen Empire, the Calua Empire, the Lazent Empire—all existing empires—he wanted to topple them all and erase the world entirely.

I knew the original Ascan well, which was why I’d worked hard to prevent his descent into darkness.

But the current Ascan had completely lost all memories of me.

‘Come to think of it… what state is he in now?’

Until now, I’d been so overjoyed he was alive that I hadn’t considered this.

The Ascan who had been left alone……

Had he not turned dark?

Ascan returned to the study after watching Tanashia enter her room.

He’d told the bishop to assign any room, so he couldn’t blame anyone—but he hadn’t expected her to stay in a room this close.

Quietly staring at the tea set he’d shared with Tanashia, Ascan spoke softly,

“How long do you plan to keep hiding?”

At his words, a dark shadow appeared from the study window, which had seemed empty.

Soon after, a man with a cold demeanor entered the study. He was strikingly handsome, with ashen eyes and dull blue hair.

It was Bill, who had escaped the laboratory with Ascan ten years ago.

“I didn’t expect you’d have company. And such a lovely lady, at that.”

“Just tell me why you came all the way here.”

“Tch, must you be so cold? I haven’t seen you in ages, busy with my mission.”

“That’s right—who told you to eavesdrop?”

“I’ve never seen you act so gentle toward anyone before.”

Actually, Bill’s astonishment wasn’t strange.

Ascan always softened whenever Tanashia was around. He kept getting distracted, his gaze drawn to her, so he’d deliberately avoided the dinner table.

But when she entered the study, he’d quickly hidden himself……

He hadn’t expected her to suddenly cry.

Seeing tears fall from Tanashia’s blue eyes, his chest inexplicably ached so badly he could barely breathe.

Without realizing it, Ascan had revealed himself before her.

He simply couldn’t help asking why she was crying.

Not only that—he’d even stopped her as she tried to leave, inviting her for tea.

And this wasn’t the first time. Even during the journey, he’d been unusually attentive to matters involving Tanashia.

Bill hadn’t been in the study from the beginning, so he hadn’t seen everything—but anyone would find Ascan’s behavior unbelievably soft.

Only when standing before her did he keep showing uncharacteristic behavior.

How to describe it? It felt as if something deep inside whispered insistently that he must treat the Tanashia before him well.

Seeing Ascan’s complicated expression, Bill seemed to decide teasing him further wasn’t wise, and spoke seriously, unlike before,

“Speaking of which, you told the Emperor you wanted to rest. What do you think he’ll do?”

“…He’ll try any means to keep me.”

Helsion was a greedy man. He’d never be satisfied merely as Emperor of the Calua Empire.

Once the empire stabilized, he’d want to expand his territory—and he’d never willingly release Ascan, who would become his greatest asset.

Everything was exactly as Ascan had anticipated.

Except for one thing: Tanashia.