When I opened my eyes again, I was startled.
“Oh my, young miss! How could you wake up now!”
“……Beatrice?”
Beatrice Moldina.
She was my maid who died when my family was exterminated.
Despite having the splendid name Beatrice, she insisted on being called Betty, saying it didn’t suit a maid’s name.
The daughter of my wet nurse, she was my milk-sister and followed me to become part of the imperial palace when I married into it.
And…..
A child who died miserably, bearing all kinds of stigma to appease the unyielding public anger.
Looking at her, who seemed extremely busy for some reason, I thought God must surely be trying to make me feel guilty.
“How many times have I asked you not to call me by that name, oh never mind, we don’t have time for this, young miss! We need to hurry and prepare for the wedding.”
“Prepare what…?”
“The wedding! Today is the day you marry His Highness the Crown Prince!”
“What?”
Was Betty alone, who had been loyal to me all her life, not enough?
On top of that, I have to see the husband I killed with my own hands.
I felt the blood drain from my face.
Unable to give any answer, I tightly gripped the blanket.
If this really was God’s intention to enlighten me before taking my soul, he had already succeeded more than halfway.
The sound of his voice that rang in my ears at the moment of death was still vividly present in my mind.
‘Are you sure you won’t regret it?’
I do regret it.
I regretted it to the point of madness.
I regretted it so much that I uttered an impossible prayer to turn back time with my last breath.
But was that not enough?
“First, get up, young miss. We need to start by washing you.”
“Am I, am I going crazy, Betty? Huh? This is a dream, right?”
“What? What are you saying, young miss?”
“Otherwise, there’s no way today could be the wedding day……”
The Betty before my eyes was too vivid.
The maids running around were familiar ones who had worked for the family for a long time.
Are the numerous lives filling the room here to protest that they lost their lives because of me?
“No matter how much you don’t want to get married, there’s nothing we can do, young miss. I’ve heard the palace has already prepared the wedding venue!”
Betty made a tearful face as she forcibly lifted me up.
Then, half-dragging me, she put me in the bathroom and started washing me.
Yellow tulips floated in the bathtub that I was pushed into in a daze.
Whether this was a dream or reality, I never expected to glimpse Lloyd’s taste even in a place like this.
I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at the daily life that was thoroughly tailored to him.
God must really be playing tricks.
My body still felt full of pain, as if it was still aching.
Beyond my blurry vision, Lloyd’s face looking down at me seemed so vivid I could almost grasp it.
If this isn’t God’s prank, then what is it?
“Is the temperature alright?”
“…Yes.”
“Don’t worry too much, young miss. I secretly inquired, and they say His Highness has a gentle and kind nature, so he’ll treat you well too.”
As I listened to Betty’s voice washing my body, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu.
‘The palace maids say, young miss, that His Highness has a gentle and kind nature, so he’ll treat you well too.’
Those words were definitely what Betty had said to comfort me on my wedding day.
Saying that since the Crown Prince had a good personality and was kind, he would be able to soothe me even if I was anxious.
At the time, with my head full of thoughts of Lloyd, I had listened to those words glumly.
Strangely, after Betty died, those words kept echoing in my mind.
And now, hearing those words again, I couldn’t hide my suspicions.
Eyes that opened again the moment I thought I had died.
Busy maids and Betty saying the exact same words as back then.
I clenched my fist under the water and bit my lip.
“Betty. I have a question.”
“Yes, young miss. What is it?”
“If today is my wedding day…… is it May 16th, 387 of the Imperial calendar?”
“Yes. Today is May 16th, 387 of the Imperial calendar… Young miss, are you really alright?”
Betty asked worriedly.
I nodded vaguely and let the maids tend to me.
My head was full of hypothetical scenarios.
Have I really come back to life?
No, to be precise, has time turned back?
My thoughts kept spiraling.
Only when I felt like my head was really about to burst did I stop thinking.
Then, strangely, everything became calm.
Maybe this is really true.
The yellow tulips floating in the bathtub.
Betty’s words of concern.
The maids busily moving about since early morning and even the familiar wedding dress laid out before me now.
My heart sank frighteningly cold.
If this is really reality.
If what’s unfolding before my eyes right now is truly the bittersweet past before I committed all those deeds.
Then I will gladly offer my all in repentance.
For my beloved household members who faded away helplessly for my sake, and for my husband.
A firm resolve settled in the eyes looking back at me in the mirror.
* * *
Leoprick Baldini Reinhart.
The man who was my husband in my past life was, as Betty said, gentle and kind in nature.
Until our marriage, I didn’t know much about him.
Just that he was the crown prince of this country and had impressive ruby-red eyes of high purity.
That he was a perfect person said to be born to be an emperor.
Whether it was swordsmanship, administration, or drive.
He excelled in everything without exception, so nobles who knew a bit about politics would gather and say they looked forward to the country he would create.
That’s how he was outwardly.
A person perfect and flawless, allowing not even an inch of error.
He was the same as a husband.
Unlike Lloyd, who spoke casually like an old friend, he always treated me with impeccable etiquette, maintaining what he deemed an appropriate distance.
A perfectly aristocratic husband who was always courteous to everyone, but only showed interest up to a certain point.
Leoprick maintained that image throughout the short period we lived together.
Because of his demeanor, I doubted whether there were any emotions in that man’s heart.
So I lived thinking he wouldn’t expect or hope for anything from me either.
Of course, to me too, he was just someone temporarily holding Lloyd’s place, and creating a position to fulfill Lloyd’s goals.
Lloyd, who couldn’t get any opportunities just because his mother, not his father, was from the imperial family.
Lloyd, who hadn’t even received abundant care from that mother.
For Lloyd Alois, who knew how to treat people much more intimately than the stiff and formal Leoprick.
I thought the situation could have been different if the late king had lived just a little longer.
They said he had verbally promised to give him rightful succession rights as well.
But there was no evidence or way to prove it, they said.
Seeing Lloyd in despair, what was I like back then?
I thought I wanted to help him, who had outstanding abilities but couldn’t even try to challenge.
Not knowing that he was quietly biding his time.
When I finally thought I had to get rid of my husband Leoprick together with him, I felt no guilt at all.
Even thinking back, it was by no means an easy thing to do, but I did.
I didn’t think I would succeed in one go anyway, since he probably wouldn’t fully trust me either.
But the expression that appeared on Leoprick’s face as he drank the poisoned tea I handed him and coughed up blood was something I couldn’t have imagined.
Asking if I really wouldn’t regret it, if I was really okay with this.
Questioning me several times with his dying voice, he closed his eyes with his trembling hand reaching out to me.
For some reason, his faintly upturned lips as he breathed his last made my skin crawl.
Whatever the meaning of that outstretched hand was, that scene is vividly etched in my mind, unable to be erased.
So much so that I can recall it whenever I want.
Come to think of it, the last thing I recalled in my past life was also his voice asking me then.
Why was that?
In the very last moment of my life, which I thought I had lived only for Lloyd, why did your voice come to mind?
* * *
Throughout the carriage ride with my father, I thought of Leoprick whom I would meet shortly.
My father, who had been glancing at me lost in thought, cleared his throat.
He must have felt I was nervous, being silent and absorbed in thought unlike my usual self.
“Are you nervous?”
At the words tinged with uncharacteristic warmth and awkwardness, I lightly shook my head.
“I’m just a bit tired.”
“Did you come home late yesterday too?”
Father made a displeased face, asking how long I planned to meet that suspicious man.
As someone who had endured longer than me, he said that man who seemed too perfect was somehow untrustworthy.
While being careful not to provoke my anger, Father didn’t forget to advise me to stay away from Lloyd.
That was because around this time, I left the mansion almost every day to meet Lloyd.
Even after putting in so much effort to gain the reputation as the flower of high society.
It was the arrogance of my youth, thinking that I didn’t care about any rumors as long as I was with him.
After my marriage to Leoprick was decided, I met him even more frequently.
Each time, Father would sigh with a face full of worry.
He always told me to be wary of Lloyd, not to tell him too much.
Although I wasn’t unaware of Father’s concerns, in my eyes he was so lovable and pitiful.
He was a regrettable person who couldn’t let go of his loyalty to Leoprick even in the unfair situation he was in.
No, that’s what I thought.
I hadn’t grasped how calculating and meticulous a person he was, what lengths he would go to in order to reach high places.
I pulled up the corners of my mouth in a smile.
“I met him for the last time. You won’t have to worry anymore, Father.”
“The last time? Are you saying you won’t meet Duke Alois anymore?”
“Yes. I’m getting married now. And not to just anyone, but as the wife of the Crown Prince. I need to be mindful of my behavior.”
“I see… you…”
An expression of half-belief, half-doubt appeared on Father’s face.
Seeing that face, I could see how much of a fuss I had made after falling for Lloyd at first sight.
If Father, who was so busy it was hard to see his face even once a week, made such an expression, that said it all.
I felt bitter.
When I was going to be betrayed so easily, why did I go around putting on airs like I had met the love of my life?
Inwardly sneering at my past self, I smoothed out the skirt of my dress.
“Don’t worry, Father. I’ll do well.”
I smiled brightly as I reassured Father.
In this life, I will never be swayed by those worthless emotions again.
No matter what happens, I will stop Lloyd and ensure Leoprick safely ascends to the throne.
And then I should quietly leave the palace.
Inwardly making such a vow, I looked at Father who was smiling awkwardly.
In my past life, I hated everything Father did and thought all his words were unreasonable nonsense.
Although I knew in my head that he had tried to raise me without any lack after losing Mother early, I couldn’t understand it in my heart in those days.
Because of that, I was busy resenting Father who was busy every day.
When he not only opposed my marriage to the person I loved, but even said he would disown me from the family if I didn’t marry the Crown Prince, I really thought Father was the worst villain in the world.
When I ran crying to Lloyd after hearing that, what did he say again?
‘Still, I don’t want you to be on bad terms with your father because of me.’ Is that what he said?
Male lead says he’s pregnant — and it’s female lead’s child
Something seems a bit off about this world.
Wang Zhao thought as she watched a pregnant man walking towards her…
Intro
Female lead finds herself in a world where the men who possess the ability to bear children.
As she navigates this unfamiliar reality, she is caught off guard by the sudden appearance of her boyfriend, who reveals that he is pregnant.
Is this truly her boyfriend?
Why can’t she recall any details about their time together?
She begins to doubt whether the child her boyfriend is carrying is even hers.
Is there a hidden reason behind her amnesia, or could it be a side effect of her sudden arrival in this strange new world?
Just when it seems the protagonist’s life couldn’t become any more entangled, her ex-boyfriend makes an unexpected appearance, raising questions about the protagonist’s past.
__________
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