“No matter how I look at it, I can’t figure it out.”
Unable to find the intersection between Viscount Benjamin and the Second Prince, Herald put down the documents on the table as if throwing them and pressed his throbbing eyelids.
Dillon tidied up the scattered papers and said,
“Things aren’t going as well as you thought, I see.”
“Yeah. It’s hard for a normal person to understand the actions of an abnormal one.”
Dillon paused for a moment before asking again.
“By any chance, you’re not saying you’re the normal one, Captain?”
“That’s right, why?”
“Good lord.”
Dillon slapped his forehead and sighed deeply.
“If others heard this, they’d be shocked. They’d say it’s nonsense.”
In the Knights’ Order, the hierarchy was so strict that it was unimaginable for a subordinate to talk back to a superior or question right and wrong. If such a subordinate existed, they would be disciplined immediately or, in the worst case, stripped of their knighthood.
However, Dillon spoke as if Herald was a friend rather than a superior, and Herald, far from scolding Dillon, laughed amusedly and asked back.
“Are you saying I’m abnormal?”
“Not abnormal, but not normal either. No, maybe I should say abnormal. Usually, knights from high-ranking families don’t volunteer for border guard duty.”
Yet the second son of the Maximilian Duke’s family, the Empire’s Sword and the Emperor’s right hand, had come to the border guard. Not forcibly transferred for causing trouble, but voluntarily, which turned Cardin’s border guard upside down.
There must be something behind this. The Cardin border guards all eyed Herald suspiciously.
Dillon was no exception, and although much of his suspicion had dissipated after four years, he still found it puzzling.
“I’m really curious, so let me ask. Why did you volunteer for Cardin’s border guard, Captain? With your skills, you could have easily joined the Imperial Knights.”
Herald shrugged.
“I remember answering that before.”
“You mean that nonsensical answer about being bored in the Imperial Knights?”
“Nonsensical? I was being sincere, and you evaluate it like that. I’m disappointed.”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
Dillon retorted curtly as he stood up.
“If you’re done checking the documents, let’s go. The Duchess emphasized to me that there’s a small welcome party this evening and asked me to bring you early.”
Deep wrinkles formed on the handsome face at the mention of a party.
“Do I really have to go?”
Herald showed his dislike openly, but Dillon didn’t back down.
“The Duke also said to bring you no matter what.”
At the mention of Duke Maximilian, Herald reluctantly stood up.
As Herald was about to get into the carriage after leaving the cafe, he turned his head. On this bright spring day, someone was walking between the streets lined with pink flowers in full bloom.
“…Liliana Benjamin?”
It was Lily. He had thought he should see her in person at least once, as she might have a deep connection with the Second Prince, but he never expected to meet her in a place like this. Herald was a bit flustered by this unexpected coincidence.
Still, it saved him the trouble of seeking her out.
Herald pulled his body, which was halfway into the carriage, completely out and stared intently at her.
The Lily portrayed in the portrait was vibrant like a flower bud about to bloom, but the Lily he saw in person had no trace of vitality, like a flower that had already withered. Her lifeless eyes, as if she had experienced all the hardships of the world, were impressive in a different sense.
Perhaps that’s why. Herald, who couldn’t take his eyes off her, sensed a strange presence and turned his head. His golden eyes flashed sharply as he looked into the dark alley despite it being broad daylight.
Someone was tailing Liliana Benjamin.
[This is the timeline separator]
Because her family’s carriage had left without her, Lily had no choice but to rent a shared carriage.
The rental fee was higher than expected, so she couldn’t buy any of the fruits her mother liked, but fortunately, she was able to arrive at the nursing home just in time for visiting hours.
Lily’s mother, Grace Benjamin, was currently hospitalized at Calvador Nursing Home, the best-equipped facility in the Empire.
The problem was that the better the facilities, the higher the cost.
Above all, for safety reasons, the nursing home only allowed visits once a week, and only for two hours. Other nursing homes were similar.
So Lily had been personally caring for her mother, and even after getting married, she had intended to continue doing so, but it fell through due to opposition from Fredick and his family. Especially Samantha, who threw a fit saying she couldn’t live in the same house as a mentally ill person, leaving a deep, indelible wound in Lily’s heart.
Thus, her mother was admitted to Calvador Nursing Home at the same time Lily married Fredick.
Lily took comfort in the fact that her mother was staying in a well-equipped place cared for by professionals, but she couldn’t help feeling dejected every time she saw the bleak gray building surrounded by high fences. It felt more like entering a prison than a hospital, which made her feel even worse.
“Wow, it’s elder sister!”
It was also devastating to see her mother, who didn’t recognize her daughter and called her “elder sister” with a bright smile. Lily bit her lip hard, feeling like she was about to burst into tears.
“Why are you making such a sad face? Are you sick somewhere?”
“Huh? No. I’m fine, mo…”
Mom. Lily swallowed the word that almost reflexively came out and smiled bitterly.
Grace, who had suffered severe burns all over her body in an accident two years ago and whose mental age had regressed to that of an 8-year-old, couldn’t remember anything related to Lily or the Benjamin viscounty.
Lily had wanted to help her mother regain her memories, calling her “mom” and saying various things, but whenever she did, Grace would scream or pull her hair, having seizures.
“It seems that the shock of suddenly losing her husband has made anything related to him a trigger for trauma for your mother,” said the doctor who saw her mother’s symptoms.
“So it’s best not to call her ‘mom’ or talk about family, especially about your late father, until she stabilizes.”
Not being able to call mom “mom” – it felt like the sky was falling and everything was going dark, but since it was for her mother’s sake, Lily was as careful as she could be.
But she couldn’t completely prevent herself from calling her “mom” unconsciously. It was natural, having called Grace “mom” for 20 years of her life.
It was fortunate if she realized it before finishing the word and managed to cover it up like now. When she couldn’t, Grace would invariably have a seizure.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, mom…”
Whenever this happened, Lily would lock herself in a place where no one could see her, like the bathroom, and cry her eyes out.
They were tears filled with guilt for hurting her mother due to her mistake and sorrow for not being able to call her mom “mom”.
“Elder sister, don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying.”
I won’t cry in front of mom, no matter what.
Lily hid her gloomy feelings behind an awkward smile and hugged Grace. With every deep breath she took, the familiar scent that penetrated deep into her lungs comforted her depressed heart a little.
What comforted her most was the warm temperature. The sound of the thumping heartbeat was also a great consolation. It was definite proof of life. Thanks to Grace returning from the brink of death, Lily was not left alone.
If Grace had closed her eyes in the accident two years ago, Lily would have turned her back on the world without any regrets.
So stay by my side like this, mom. Even if you don’t remember me… Just please don’t leave. Then I’ll do my best to endure…
Lily engraved the resolution she had repeated dozens of times deep into her heart again and hugged her mother even tighter.
[This is the timeline separator]Early evening, when the blue sky was dyed with red sunset.
“…”
After saying a reluctant goodbye to her mother and returning to the Benjamin mansion, Lily paused at the sight of the carriage the coachman was diligently cleaning.
It was Fredick’s exclusive carriage, which neither Lily nor Samantha were allowed to use. The fact that this carriage was here meant that Fredick had returned.
“Has he returned?”
Wanting to know for sure, Lily asked the coachman. The coachman, who belatedly noticed her, bowed deeply and answered.
“Yes, madam. The master returned an hour ago.”
“I see…”
Although she had guessed as much, confirming it didn’t make her feel any better. Lily trailed off and glared at the mansion’s door. It was already a place she didn’t want to enter, but knowing Fredick had returned made her even more reluctant.
If asked to choose the most uncomfortable person here, it would undoubtedly be Fredick. It wasn’t that Fredick had done anything particular to her. As he had declared on their wedding night that he wouldn’t interfere with her affairs, he hadn’t done anything, but she still disliked him.
That man was the root cause of dragging her into this hell.
At the same time, it was truly ironic that he was also the savior who had rescued her and her mother from another hell.
“Young madam?”
Lily, who had been standing still glaring at the door, blinked her eyes wide when the coachman called her cautiously. She had been staring so intently that her eyes stung.
“Good work.”
Lily smiled as if nothing had happened and entered the mansion. There were many servants in the hall, but none of them paid any attention to Lily. They all treated her as if she didn’t exist and just did their own work. Even the maids who usually attended to Lily were the same.
“…”
Seeing the servants deliberately ignoring her, it was clear that Samantha’s influence was at work.
Then perhaps it wasn’t Brian who ordered the coachman to leave me behind, but Samantha?
Lily corrected the culprit she had guessed in her mind as she climbed the central staircase. Her footsteps heading straight to the bedroom stopped when she saw a man standing in front of the bedroom.
“…Fredick?”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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