Miss Pendleton’s eyes wavered.
“I know that what I gave you was limited. I also know that your parents’ mistakes weigh heavily on you. But despite that, you could have met plenty of good men who would love you. Yet for over a decade, you’ve been diligently avoiding such connections. Why? Has love dried up in your heart?”
Miss Pendleton carefully removed her grandmother’s hand from her face. She turned her head to look at the fireplace, hiding her expression from her grandmother. It was always like this. Miss Pendleton concealed everything about herself when topics like this came up – her expression, her thoughts, her feelings.
After remaining still for a moment, Miss Pendleton spoke in a clear voice devoid of emotion.
“I’ve never thought that what you gave me was lacking, Grandmother. Rather, I received more than enough. They were all things that weren’t originally mine. I’ve always been grateful. Always.”
“Are you saying you’ve never resented me even once?”
Miss Pendleton turned her head towards Mrs. Abigail.
“What on earth would I resent you for?”
“For giving you the name Pendleton.”
“Have you ever regretted it, Grandmother? Giving me the Pendleton surname?”
Mrs. Abigail looked at Miss Pendleton quietly for a while, then closed her eyes and shook her head.
“Not even once.”
“It’s the same for me. I’ve never resented you even once, Grandmother. I’ve been satisfied with everything you’ve given me, and I’ve been very happy. I’m still happy now. So Grandmother, let’s stop talking about this topic now. You need to rest.”
Before the lady could say anything, Miss Pendleton stood up from the stool and called the servants downstairs, instructing them to prepare for bed.
Soon the servants came, and together with Miss Pendleton, they helped Mrs. Abigail to bed and tidied up the fireplace area before withdrawing. Miss Pendleton stayed by her grandmother’s side to give her medicine.
Mrs. Abigail quietly took the medicine while looking at Miss Pendleton’s face. A sunken face revealing deep contemplation.
Mrs. Abigail could be certain of what memories were floating in her mind. Today, she had to voice the question she had been swallowing until now.
“Is it because of that man who abandoned you?”
Miss Pendleton stopped moving and looked at her grandmother. Mrs. Abigail was looking at Miss Pendleton with a calm expression.
“I won’t ask again after today. So please answer my question. Was what people whispered true? Did you give up on love because of that man who deceived and abandoned you?”
Miss Pendleton quietly tidied up the paper that had wrapped the medicine and the water glass. Unlike before, Miss Pendleton’s expression was now detached. An expression that made it impossible to know her inner thoughts. Instead of answering, she bent down to kiss Mrs. Abigail’s forehead and whispered.
“Good night, Grandmother.”
Soon, Miss Pendleton left the room, her dress rustling.
That night, Miss Pendleton changed into her nightgown, groomed her hair, and then knelt by her bed as usual. And she prayed earnestly.
That the newly wedded Mr. and Mrs. Morton would live harmoniously and happily for life, that the best future would be opened for both Miss Hyde and Mr. Fairfax who were likely lying sleepless now, that her grandmother would be granted health and her worries removed,
And finally, that peace be granted to the person who had forsaken her twelve years ago.
* * *
It was a week after the Mortons’ wedding that she learned of Miss Hyde’s refusal of marriage. The news came through a letter from the former Rosemary Hyde, Miss Pendleton’s boarding school classmate and Miss Hyde’s older sister, now Mrs. Alexander McLean, who informed her of the commotion in her maiden home.
Upon the visit of the young gentleman who might become her future son-in-law, Mrs. Hyde immediately dolled up Miss Hyde and dragged her to the reception room.
Soon the two were left alone in the reception room, and just five minutes later, Mr. Fairfax left the Hyde residence. They had swiftly gone through the process of proposing, refusing, persuading, and refusing that persuasion again.
However, the aftermath was quite long and terrible. When Mrs. Hyde learned that her daughter had refused Mr. Fairfax’s proposal, she fainted on the spot. John called for a doctor, and Mrs. Hyde was reportedly yelling at Miss Hyde at the top of her lungs when she wasn’t unconscious.
At the end of the letter was a brief mention that Jane, her younger sister who was the cause of this incident, had locked herself in her room and wouldn’t come out. And since Rosemary herself was busy taking care of their mother, she couldn’t pay attention to Jane, so she asked if Miss Pendleton could visit the Hyde residence when she had time to comfort Jane.
Miss Pendleton immediately baked a basket of raspberry cookies, Miss Hyde’s favorite, and visited the Hyde residence. As soon as she entered the gate, a gloomy air enveloped her. It was the unique unsettling atmosphere that permeated a house when the mistress was in a foul mood.
Miss Pendleton handed the cookie basket to a servant and followed their guidance to the reception room. Soon, Mrs. McLean entered the reception room with a tired face. Upon seeing Miss Pendleton, she erased her gloominess and approached her friend with a bright smile, hugging her tightly.
“It’s been too long, Laura! Have you been well?”
“Yes. We haven’t seen each other since Mary Jane’s christening. Is your husband in good health?”
“That man is always healthy. Too healthy, if anything.”
The two sat down and drank tea. Mrs. McLean, who had married Judge McLean six years ago through Miss Pendleton’s introduction, had gained a proper amount of weight and carried an air of dignity, looking every bit the part of a confident mistress of the house.
However, whenever she met Miss Pendleton, she would revert to the girl from their teenage years who would get banned from dinner for doodling in French grammar books and secretly eat snacks in bed.
Mrs. McLean munched on the raspberry cookies served in a dish, just like in her teenage years, and sighed.
“Mother is driving me crazy, really. If the child really doesn’t want it, what can we do? She’s acting like she wants to eat Jane alive.”
“Mrs. Hyde must be upset too. Honestly, Mr. Fairfax is too good a match to let go in many ways.”
“Yes, I know that too. But it’s not Mother who’s getting married. She interferes too much in Jane’s life. Especially with Jane. The child is already twenty-five, but Mother still reads all her diaries and letters. She even meddles with her hairstyles and dress ornaments.”
Mrs. McLean ranted, her face flushed.
“Jane might be capricious, but has she ever acted vulgarly or caused trouble even once? She’s intelligent and witty, that’s why a man like Mr. Fairfax proposed to her. Only Mother sees Jane as inadequate.”
Miss Pendleton smiled slightly at her friend. She was still as devoted to her younger sister as ever. Of course, it was clear that Miss Hyde herself was an outstanding young lady.
“You’re right, Miss Hyde is indeed a very intelligent young lady.”
“I used to worry about how she would ever get married, being the way she is. But you know what, these days I think Jane could live on her own. The world is changing gradually. It’s a time when even women can earn money by themselves, though it’s difficult. Our Jane can do it too. It’s just that she hasn’t grown much due to lack of proper support.”
Mrs. McLean took a sip of tea and continued.
“If only our mansion in Haworth hadn’t been lost, Jane wouldn’t have had to quit school so hastily. She would have studied more, and maybe could have become a teacher. Her grades were good, and her writing skills were especially remarkable, so she could have become a literature teacher.”
She let out a deep sigh.
“If I could get even a little money from my husband, I’d teach her something now and send her out. But John borrowed so much money from him for his business. We still can’t even pay the interest, and my face turns red every time I see him.”
Miss Pendleton skipped over the awkward topic of money problems and responded in agreement with Mrs. McLean’s view of her sister.
“I think it would be difficult for Miss Hyde to be happy if she got married. The stability and comfort that marriage provides might feel stifling to Miss Hyde. Even if it were the kindest and most excellent man in this world.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. Marriage is something only people with the right disposition should do. Married life is no easy task. It breaks your heart every time your children fall ill, and especially when you fight with your husband… Although I love him very much, sometimes I wonder why I was so desperate to get married when I was single. I don’t want Jane to go through this situation. She definitely won’t be able to endure it.”
Mrs. McLean poured out various lamentations about Jane’s pitiful situation, her mother’s unfair treatment, and the unfortunate circumstances surrounding Jane for a while.
As Miss Pendleton listened to the story, she thought it would have been better if her friend Rosemary hadn’t gotten married so quickly. As far as she knew, Mrs. McLean was the only family member who thought of Jane Hyde this way.
However, Mrs. McLean had to leave her maiden home as soon as her mother’s health improved. Her home was not here, but by Judge McLean’s side.
The conversation between the two, which had been going on for quite some time, was soon interrupted by Mrs. Hyde’s call for Mrs. McLean.
The two went out and climbed the stairs of the mansion. Mrs. McLean was to return to her mother in the second-floor bedroom, while Miss Pendleton planned to pay her respects to Mrs. Hyde and then go up to Miss Hyde’s room on the fifth floor.
They arrived at the lady’s bedroom in the inner part of the second floor. Mrs. McLean knocked on the bedroom door and entered. Miss Pendleton stood in front of the door, tidying her hair to look presentable to the lady, and waited.
From inside, she could hear Mrs. McLean telling her mother that Miss Pendleton had come. But soon, Mrs. Hyde’s hoarse voice was heard from inside.
“Tell her to go away. I’m sick of seeing spinsters’ faces.”
“What are you saying, Mother?”
“That know-it-all friend of yours has ruined Jane’s marriage. Trying to make her a spinster like herself!”
“What did Laura do? Why is it Laura’s fault that Jane doesn’t want to get married?”
“I saw them whispering together at the Mortons’ wedding. They were constantly tangled up for a while, and I thought she might be helping Jane get married, but instead she ruined the marriage?”
“Laura did nothing wrong. It was just Jane’s own choice. And why does Jane have to get married? Laura isn’t married either, but she’s living properly and well.”
“Of course she can hold her head high without getting married because she has that great Mrs. Pendleton as her grandmother. Will that lady give Jane food and clothes when I’m dead and she has no home and no money? I shouldn’t have let them hang out together in the first place.”
“You were so happy before, saying she matched me with a good man. Mother, do you know you’re being shallow?”
“You could have done well even without Miss Pendleton. But Jane, no one would pick her up even if we left her on the street. How could she ruin the marriage of such a child? Is Miss Pendleton going to bring another rich man? Ugh, I shouldn’t have let her associate with such a girl without proper background in the first place!”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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