Chapter 68

“I don’t have any such recollection.”

“Oh, is that so? Well, that’s how it was for me. The younger ones born one after another were all so lovely I could hardly stand it. It was such a pity to see their baby looks fade as they grew.”

He poked Lewis’s chubby cheeks with his fingertips.

“Babies are such a delight. Just having them sit on your lap makes you feel young again.”

“Don’t talk like an old man, Robert.”

“Well, we’re only in our forties, after all. Margaret, what do you say to having another child after our little Ian?”

Ian, holding Jane who had just stopped crying, glared at his brother-in-law.

“Don’t say such things, even as a joke, brother-in-law.”

“It’s not a joke. Among men my age, none are as healthy as I am. Couldn’t I produce ten more if I wanted?”

“My sister isn’t in good health.”

Anger crept into Ian’s voice. Mrs. Fairfax waved her hand to calm him down.

“Don’t take it seriously. It’s just his way of being crude. He’s trying to prove how vigorous he is tonight.”

Ian made a face of disgust. To him, his much older sister was like a mother. Thinking of her marital relations with her husband felt as bad as imagining his mother with a stepfather.

“There are children here, so choose your words carefully, sister.”

“The only ones here who’d understand crude talk are me, my husband, and you and your wife.”

Mrs. Fairfax turned to Laura, sitting beside Ian, and asked in a gentle voice,

“Were you offended, Laura?”

Laura, sipping her tea, smiled and shook her head. Her mind was actually elsewhere.

“By the way, I haven’t seen Olivia for a while?”

“Now that you mention it, where is Olivia?”

Mrs. Fairfax glanced around carelessly, as if looking for a misplaced teacup saucer.

“Sister, didn’t you tell her we were visiting?”

“No way I wouldn’t have.”

Ian muttered just as carelessly as his sister.

“How odd. Miss Olivia Fairfax, the ardent fan of Mrs. Dalton.”

They returned to talking about the babies. Laura seemed to be the only one concerned about Olivia.

Laura had thought she’d see her niece right away upon visiting Dunville Park. But Olivia, who was said to be in her room, showed no sign of coming down.

‘Could she be unwell?’

Laura set down her teacup and addressed the Fairfax couple politely.

“Excuse me, but may I step away for a moment?”

“Why?”

Mrs. Fairfax asked.

“I’d like to check on Olivia’s room.”

Ian tried to stop Laura.

“She’ll come down for dinner anyway, so why not see her then?”

“I can’t wait that long. I miss her too much.”

Mrs. Fairfax burst into laughter.

“Make sure to tell Olivia that. She’ll be so thrilled she’ll run across the rooftops.”

With a light smile, Laura gave a slight curtsy and left the drawing room. With familiar steps, she found Olivia’s room and knocked on the door.

“Olivia, are you in there? It’s Aunt Laura.”

No sound came from inside. But soon, footsteps approached, followed by a rustling noise.

‘She’s in there, isn’t she?’

Even after hearing Laura’s voice, Olivia didn’t respond. Laura’s puzzlement grew.

“Are you feeling ill? Or is there something upsetting you about Aunt Laura?”

“……”

“I don’t know the reason, but I miss you so much, Olivia. I want to hear your voice and know how you’re feeling. Could you open the door?”

No sound came. The corners of Laura’s eyes drooped.

She felt puzzled and worried. Laura opened her mouth to say more but swallowed her words.

‘If she’s upset with me, pressing her like this might feel burdensome.’

Laura decided to leave the child be for now. She’d sort out her feelings and open up in time. Olivia’s behavior was baffling, but it might make sense from her perspective.

“Please come down for dinner. I want to introduce you to our Lewis and Jane. They must miss you too.”

Laura turned to head downstairs. But after taking just a few steps, she heard the door creak open behind her, followed by the tap, tap of footsteps.

Laura turned back toward Olivia’s room. The door was open about a hand’s width.

It was an invitation to come in.

Laura entered the room. Lavender wallpaper and a canopy bed adorned with white lace greeted her. It was a familiar sight, as she’d been invited here often.

Olivia was on the bed, curled up under the covers.

Laura approached the bed slowly. As she got closer, she heard Olivia sniffling.

‘Is she crying?’

Laura felt a pang of confusion but tried to stay calm as she approached the bed. She sat gently on the edge.

“What’s wrong?”

Sniffle, sniffle. Olivia kept crying without a word.

“Did Aunt Laura do something wrong? Or is there a secret you want to share but can’t?”

“……”

“Tell me, Olivia. Seeing you cry makes me sad too. It makes me want to cry with you.”

From under the covers, Olivia peeked out. Her teary eyes glanced at Laura.

Seeing her aunt’s sad face, Olivia emerged from the bedding.

Olivia looked a mess. Her hair, usually styled neatly by a maid each morning, was disheveled like straw. Her chiffon dress was wrinkled, and her face was streaked with tears.

Laura handed her a handkerchief. Olivia wiped her face with it.

“Auntie.”

Finally, Olivia spoke. Laura, who had been quietly waiting, nodded.

“Yes.”

“…Why did you name your daughter Jane?”

It was an unexpected question. Laura, slightly taken aback, began to explain calmly. As she spoke, Olivia’s expression grew more and more despondent.

“…A lady who went across the sea to Asia? You named her Jane after that lady who isn’t here with you now?”

“…Yes.”

Olivia’s face looked deeply wronged. Laura grew increasingly unable to fathom her niece’s feelings.

“How much do you like that Jane Hyde lady, Auntie?”

“I like her very much.”

Olivia’s lips trembled.

“You like her very much?”

“Y-Yes.”

Laura sensed Olivia’s emotions were escalating but, unable to discern why, could only answer honestly.

“How much?”

“…Olivia, that’s hard to answer. There’s no measure for how much you care for someone.”

At that, pearl-like tears rolled down Olivia’s cheeks.

“…More than me?”

“What?”

“Do you like Jane Hyde more than me?”

Laura was speechless. It was an absurd question.

“You like Miss Hyde more than me… so… that’s why you named your daughter after her instead of me?”

Olivia pursed her lips into an arch, trying to hold back tears, but finally buried her face in the handkerchief, unable to bear it.

“To you, Auntie, am I… not even worth naming your daughter after? I… I thought for sure if you had a daughter, you’d name her Olivia…!”

Laura finally understood why Olivia was so heartbroken. She had hoped Laura would name her daughter after her.

Good heavens. Laura had no idea Olivia had such expectations.

“For your daughter to be named Olivia, that was, next to becoming a splendid lady, no, even more than that, my greatest wish… But when the baby was born, in the letter, Uncle said the names were Lewis and Jane… that’s what you decided…”

Even while crying, Olivia kept talking earnestly. Despite her sobs, she was careful with her words, as if determined to express herself clearly to her aunt.

“If you hadn’t had morning sickness! If the snow hadn’t blocked the roads! If the baby had been born just a month later! Then maybe you would’ve liked me more! More than Miss Hyde…!”

Olivia finally burst into loud sobs.

Her crying went on for a while.

For some reason, Laura didn’t try to console or reason with her niece and let her be.

As Olivia sobbed with grief, worry began to creep into her heart.

Hearing that her cousins’ names had been decided, Olivia’s disappointment was indescribable. She felt let down, wronged, and, though irrational, betrayed. She had resolved never to see her uncle, aunt, or cousins again. She thought that when she entered society next year, she’d cut ties with the Dalton family for good. That’s how great her disappointment was.

But when her aunt came to her room, that resolve crumbled. The worry in her aunt’s voice calling through the door melted it away.

Auntie is worried about me. That fact alone made half of Olivia’s disappointment evaporate.

Olivia wanted to pour out her heart to her aunt. She wanted her aunt to comfort her.

To say she didn’t know, that if she had known Olivia’s feelings, she would’ve named her daughter Olivia, and that even though the baby didn’t carry her name, she hoped Olivia would love her new cousins.

Then she’d wash her face and go downstairs. To see if, as her uncle wrote in the letter, the babies really had his black hair and her aunt’s gray eyes, and if they were truly the prettiest babies in the world, as described.

That was Olivia’s true heart.