……Dad’s words resonated deeply in my heart.
I was wicked and reckless. I had first banished those who sought to harm our family’s happiness to hell.
And yet, dad said it’s okay for me to be bad. He told me I deserved to be happy……
Without knowing, a small word slipped out of my mouth.
“……Hm.”
Dad laughed at that word, as if it were amusing.
I cautiously put down my hand that was the size of a corn kernel.
I was going to cover my face with my hand because it was so obvious that Dad would be restless if I cried.
Now I convinced myself that I wouldn’t cry, that I wasn’t moved at all, that he’s just our silly Dad.
I won’t cry, it’s going to be okay.
“Huh? Our daughter’s eyes…….”
“Why. Am I ugly?”
My eyes must have turned into rabbit eyes. But since dad said it’s okay for me to have rabbit eyes……
But still, if it’s not beautiful, it has no value. Seeing me a little anxious, dad laughed heartily.
“Just like a goldfish. Cutely.”
I was about to cover my eyes again, but paused and made a small noise.
“……I am not a goldfish. And in fact, I am very, very bad.”
While patting my head, dad spoke quietly but seriously.
“It’s okay to be bad. It’s okay to be a goldfish too. Anyway, I will protect our daughter’s happiness.”
“Mm…….”
“Now, open your mouth.”
Dad put a piece of cake on the fork and brought it to my mouth. I nodded and opened my mouth wide.
I was really trying to chew the cake that Dad put in my mouth.
Because the cake was so, so delicious.
Feeling nothing, I was about to chew on the fresh cream with my little teeth, when I froze.
My heart felt a little strange.
Suddenly, it felt as if a wave of emotion was quickly rushing in, as if someone was pounding a huge drum in my heart.
With the cream about to explode in my mouth, I called out to Dad in a small voice.
“Dad.”
Did the word, Dad, always carry such weight?
Even before I could do something, my eyes became hot and tears streamed down.
“Cien? Cien, why are you crying?”
“Huahhh.”
With the cake still in my mouth, I burst into tears.
I always thought that if I didn’t fulfill my purpose, I should die. I didn’t expect to hear that it’s okay to do nothing, that I just need to be happy.
The words that Dad told me every day, today, they echoed painfully in my little heart.
“I hate you, Dad.”
Because he’s too sweet to me, because he loves me too much, I hate him. My heart feels so soft.
Tears fell from my eyes.
Dad carefully wiped away my tears, looking helpless.
“I’m sorry, Cien. Did I do something wrong?”
He apologised even when he didn’t do anything wrong.
With my tiny teary eyes, I glared at Dad.
“How are you going to survive in this world being so pure. Idiot!”
Next, I wanted to say, I love you, Dad. I only have you. I really love you the most in the world. I only have you for me.
But after saying “Idiot,” the tears fell so fast that I couldn’t say anything while I sobbed.
As he hurriedly wiped away my tears with his fingers, Dad looked worried. Dad furrowed his brows and murmured carefully.
“Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry, Cien. It’s my first time being a dad, too……. I’m clumsy.”
Our silly Dad always said that when I started crying unexpectedly.
As if he made a mistake and that’s why I was crying. He thought that. Like a real idiot.
That misunderstanding is not okay.
Because I love Dad more than anyone else in the world.
Because Dad is the best dad in the world.
“No. Dad didn’t do anything wrong.”
Because the warmth of his embrace and his comforting touch were too warm.
I had no choice but to cry my eyes out until they became as puffy as a goldfish.
Every night in our rural village, Dad would whisper in my ear as I had nightmares.
Cien, you don’t have to do anything.
You are my precious daughter, just by being.
Let’s live happily together.
It’s okay to cry. Cry your heart out and let it all out.
You don’t have to force yourself to be strong.
Suddenly, the thought of living happily ever after with dad crossed my mind.
Chewing and swallowing the tearsoaked cake, I kept on reminding myself of that sentiment.
[This is the time separator.]It was a dark night, as if it would become dusky any moment.
Perhaps due to my crying during the day, dad cancelled all his afternoon schedules and stayed by my side.
I lost myself in thought, looking at dad who had fallen asleep while being a pillow for me.
‘I don’t have time to keep crying. I need to be strong.’
After a good cry, I felt resolute.
It was like the ground hardening after the rain.
‘It’s okay. Those jerks can’t affect my life!’
I felt full of confidence that I could even have taken down the headmaster.
This is it, gradually taking control over the villainous Duke’s family, even the Empire!
With my swollen fish eyes, I made an ambitious face.
‘Dad wants me to be happy, but I can’t do that. First, I need to live to be happy.’
Did he notice me opening my eyes wide? Dad called me in a sleepy voice.
“Cien.”
“Hmm?”
Lying down on dad’s arm pillow, I asked languidly.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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