It was a marriage that had everything. The problem was that none of it belonged to the bride.
The engagement ring the bride received, the wedding ring, the tiara on her head, and the ancient jewels, as well as the groom – in fact, she wasn’t even qualified to stand in the bride’s place. She was only standing in temporarily for someone else.
“Here.”
Kaella returned the engagement ring she hadn’t worn since leaving Kline.
“Why… this…?”
Peon barely squeezed out his voice, his breath caught. The sentence wasn’t even complete. He had clearly declared it was Kaella’s when he gave it to her, so why was she returning it?
“Because I received one…”
Or because one was enough. Looking at him as if not understanding, then suddenly starting to be cautious, Kaella made Peon unable to even sigh freely.
She seemed to think she had done something wrong just now, immediately hunching her shoulders, but he dared not frighten her further.
Since collapsing, Kaella had treated him no longer as the elder brother she knew in childhood, but simply as the Grand Duke of Lucenford. After being ill all along and waking up, she was even more polite.
She drew a line like that and showed no emotion at all. The fact that she was finally showing emotion by being scared and watching his reactions made Peon feel disgusted with himself.
“Bi- no, Kaella.”
He shook his head.
“No. It’s all yours. I told you you don’t have to return it.”
For the woman who had starved to death confined in the northern tower, Lucenford must have been a harsh land where she had to survive. She had to endure the nobles’ glares and rudeness every year under the pretext of Tour Berry.
If not, she would suffocate to death from a single fruit that swelled up frighteningly. Or she would be swept away by the flood of unreasonable demands and coercion.
How scared she must have been. Among the Lucenford people with their large builds and loud voices, Kaella had to endure rudeness and threats.
She must have forcibly eaten the Tour Berry she didn’t want to eat at the last banquet, terrified. She must have been swept along and eaten it. Surely she wouldn’t have eaten it voluntarily.
“Keep this one as it is.”
He took out the engagement ring that was neatly placed in the box and put it back on Kaella’s finger. It had become loose as she had lost weight.
“The new one is just a gift from a husband to his wife.”
A brilliant diamond was placed on the other bony hand. Holding it, he saw that the hand without blood or warmth looked just like Kaella’s hand when she had died, and Peon unknowingly narrowed his brows.
“Wear them often. It’s okay if you lose them. I’ll buy you new ones if you do.”
Remembering her searching for the lost ring with red hands rubbing her teary eyes, Peon said it in advance. He should have searched with her, he was an accomplice for leaving her alone and secretly finding it later to give back. He should have searched together right there.
“How can you add rings instead of…”
The words “What kind of crazy idiot would take away an engagement ring he gave saying it was his mother’s” almost sprang to the tip of his tongue, but Peon barely held back.
The word ‘idiot’ was too vulgar to say in front of Kaella. At the same time, he knew well why Kaella was acting like this.
“…I’m sorry that I’m lacking and flawed compared to you.”
He always reminded himself that he was literally a flawed man who had officially been in a relationship with another woman.
“No, it’s not like that.”
Kaella reflexively denied it out of habit.
“No, it is. Don’t say it’s not true when others have seen it with their own eyes. You know it too.”
She closed her mouth again.
“Since I’m a flawed husband, shouldn’t I give you lots of things like this?”
The large, strong hand was still holding the bony hand. It was a very strange and peculiar sight to Kaella.
“It suits you well.”
It was an unimpressively small hand compared to Beatrice’s long, slender ones.
Kaella, who had lived under the reputation of Lady Lavalle, the flower of high society with pretty hands and not a single unattractive part, thought as she watched the large diamond ring being added to that ugly hand:
‘It would have shone more on Lady Lavalle’s hand.’
Firmly grasping the hand of the unattractive duchess who was inferior to her and had nothing good about her compared to her, the duke said once more clearly:
“It’s entirely yours.”
A lie. How could that be?
“Take it all. It’s all yours. Don’t ever give it back.”
The voice repeating it over and over was directed solely at her, and the large hands enveloped both of hers as if worried she might take off the rings again.
Even though she knew best that all of this was just a fleeting moment, futile and meaningless, Kaella stared at her hands for a long time. The small and insignificant hands completely engulfed in his hands looked quite decent for once.
They didn’t seem so ugly after all.
*
After barely persuading Kaella, no, just forcefully pushing through to put both rings firmly on her fingers and coming out, Peon rubbed his face only after the door closed behind him.
He knows. The woman behind that door is not the Kaella who tried her best to settle here and become one of the people here. She is not the person he knew.
She can leave Lucenford at any time, and if she gets the chance, she will immediately become a stranger to him – the Princess of Austine. She was not the woman who cried and searched between her eyes for the ring she had lost, not even remembering what he had given her.
The ring was the only thing he had given to Kaella. Or it was the only symbol of their miserable marriage, each for their own reasons.
Kaella desperately searched for the ring. Either the marriage was important, or the ring itself was important, or both. Maybe both.
I’ll return it.
But now Kaella showed no attachment to the ring at all.
Return it? The ring? Even if you break off an engagement, only a petty and stingy man would ask for the ring back, but after treating her husband like such a man twice, Kaella was very serious.
‘Did I treat Bi badly?’
Peon pondered, retracing the past. He didn’t know much about women. So even though he was trying his best not to hurt Kaella this time, he might have made a mistake inadvertently.
Of course, he knew that his very existence, and the clear past that couldn’t be changed even if he went back in time again, was an indelible flaw to Kaella. That fact always troubled him.
‘But still…’
Still, it doesn’t make sense. At twenty-one, freshly married, the well-raised princess was polite and shy. Surely she was. Peon cursed himself for having little memory of the early days of their marriage as he scraped together his memories.
He should have paid more attention to Kaella. He should have known what kind of person she was. Blaming himself that it wasn’t such a great sin for a person to get to know another person, he wracked his brain.
Even if Your Highness doesn’t acknowledge it, I am the Duchess. I will do what I have to do.
No matter how little he remembered, he couldn’t forget the small but clear voice and the cold eyes that looked straight at him. With eyes on the verge of tears, or already filled with tears, she looked straight at him. She faced him directly, always avoiding and turning away.
But this time, did she even look at him?
Peon suddenly felt an eerie feeling and turned around. But the door he had closed himself was still tightly shut.
He resisted the urge to open the door again and walked down the corridor. Spring would soon come to Lucenford too, but the wind that made him worry about Kaella’s health was still too cold, shaking the duke’s cloak.
“Your Highness.”
Secretary Regen carefully approached and bowed his head. He had felt him hovering around this area for several minutes, waiting for Peon to come out, but he had left him alone as he was busy holding Kaella’s hands and reassuring her several times.
Peon turned to look at Regen, trying to shake off the eerie feeling that still lingered.
“May I come closer to report?”
Peon gestured without answering. Regen, who came closer as gestured, looked around and then whispered in an almost inaudible voice.
“It was gold, Your Highness.”
Gold will pour out abundantly from the second mine. Peon nodded.
“What shall we do?”
“There will be a few large chunks when we dig, bring them. Send only one of them to Kline.”
He planned to completely hide the more precious diamonds and send only gold, which was always valued though not comparable to diamonds, to the emperor to curry favor.
The emperor would no longer know much about Lucenford’s financial and military status. Reports could be falsified as much as needed, and as for the emperor’s eyes and ears, well…
“Yes, Your Highness. I will do as you command, but will it be alright?”
Regen was loyal, but separately from that, he couldn’t hide his concern. It was always his job to examine every risk factor one by one. Of course, he had to look out for any danger to his lord Peon whom he served.
In that sense, he was worried if it was okay to keep quiet to the emperor about the Kerban mine where enormous amounts of diamonds were pouring out.
The emperor always showed a pathological interest in what was happening in Lucenford, obsessed and meddled.
It wasn’t once or twice that the emperor’s messenger appeared knowing exactly what had happened before Peon reported it, or that Peon was summoned to Kline.
Because of this, the Lucenford people always thought the emperor was watching them and harbored both fear and hatred.
The emperor who always watches, a fearsome presence always observing, the ruler who holds Lucenford’s leash and ignores, despises, and gives not even a bit of freedom.
“Nothing will happen.”
Peon cut him off. He was the only Cranian Empire citizen who no longer feared the emperor’s eyes and ears. There was something else to fear.
“Yes, then I will do so. And about the fourth mine…”
Regen lowered his voice even more. It was almost inaudible.
“Is it really ‘that place’?”
A different kind of fear showed on the secretary’s face. He seemed to be feeling a life-threatening terror.
“Really, Your Highness, if it’s ‘that place’, development is impossible. There will be enormous casualties, and above all, it’s an act that violates national law.”
“I haven’t given any orders about the fourth mine yet.”
“‘Yet’, Your Highness, ‘yet’. That means you will surely give orders someday, and by the day you give orders, it will already be too late.”
Regen didn’t hide the expression that he was aging 10 years because the duke, a head taller than him, was pretending not to know this at all.
“It’s true that you only mentioned the location of the fourth mine, but even that alone has kept me sleepless for days.”
Peon chuckled.
“Speaking as someone who always cares about his subordinates’ sleep, you don’t need to lose sleep over this, Regen.”
“Since you care about my sleep, could you also care about my liver, Your Highness?”
“My, do I need to help you grow your liver now?”
“Unfortunately, this is the maximum. If I grow it any more, it will burst.”
Walking leisurely beside the duke, Regen expounded on how small and sensitive an organ his liver was. The duke half-listened to the secretary’s words as he went down the stairs towards the stable.
“Bring out my horse.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
One knight moved immediately.
“As soon as I return, I’ll write a report to submit to His Majesty the Emperor, so prepare for that, Regen.”
“Are you going far?”
Peon glanced down at Regen.
“I have to consider your small liver. I’m going to scout the evil dragon’s territory.”
It was dangerous work, but since Peon had been doing it himself until now, the secretary didn’t particularly try to stop him.
“Be careful, Your Highness.”
The morale was naturally high because the Commander-in-Chief of Lucenford didn’t hesitate to do the dirty work that soldiers would do, and personally conducted dangerous reconnaissance. Peon passed through the dirty road where snow had started melting and swiftly mounted his horse.
“I don’t need an escort. I’ll be back soon.”
Of course, no escort was needed to enter the evil dragon’s territory. There should be no watching eyes.
Peon passed through the melted road and went near the border that was still frozen white. From there, this realm erased his traces on its own.
No one will be able to find the duke. The hoofprints left in the snow behind him were disappearing on their own, but Peon paid no attention.
The deeper he went, the more the anxiety gripping his heart grew a little. He had skillfully hidden it in front of Regen, but he could no longer hide it.
Maybe, perhaps, surely not.
The chill-like anxiety that had been flowing through his heart all along was gradually materializing.
He shouldn’t play the role of a blind man with open eyes. He shouldn’t, but he had never wanted to do so as desperately as now. He wanted to pretend not to know. He wanted to know nothing and just turn a blind eye.
The horse finally stopped in front of a straight path where shadows and light were strangely entangled and rippling, refusing to go any further. Peon tied the horse far away and slowly walked along the path that the shadows slithered open for him.
In the realm of the light dragon, cold and heat that humans could hardly endure coexisted.
It was also a space where deep darkness and warm light existed together. Peon walked along the darkness that was now starting to become familiar to his eyes. The heat and cold did not bother him.
In the pitch-black darkness, golden fragments of light flickered like fireflies.
It was when only his footsteps echoed in the deepest place and finally stopped. Cutting through the deep darkness, a pair of golden eyes much larger than the sparks the duke had burst a few days ago opened.
Peon opened his mouth with a voice tinged with self-loathing.
“Father.”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
_____
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