“Oh, by any chance, is the name of your first love Haru?”

“I think you’ve taken enough from me to choose by now. Please stop now.”

Jun’s laughter that followed poured into my heart like clear rain. But why? With those two echoes in my heart, it seemed like a big hole had been created.

Jun, you’ve consistently waited for me. When we first met after nine years, the gaze you showed me was not just filled with resentment towards the me who hadn’t appeared early. At that time, you harbored a much warmer heart than I had imagined.

While endlessly wandering through the winter mountains, you waited for spring…

The large hole in my chest seemed to expand with each inhale and exhale. Breathing was erratic, and the breath escaping through the hole condensed chest pain and then dispersed, repeating the cycle.
Without stopping, tears that flowed down uncontrollably were making a mess of the face. Unperturbed, I exhaled sadness into the warm breath.

Listening to Jun’s voice, I recalled Jun. Even after Jun disappeared from the TV screen, I suffered a bit longer.

⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

The smooth texture of the curtain fabric, gently swaying in the air, touched my hands. I wet the end of the curtain I held in my right hand once to the right, once to the left. A large spring night was neatly framed along the window frame where the white silk curtain was draped.

Sunday night, a night still lingering with the aftertaste of the weekend, a night that could be quietly appreciated by framing it.

With a rustle, I settled in the middle near the balcony. Placing the pink teacup I held in my left hand on both palms, I covered the outer surface with both hands. The warmth of the just-heated milk tea passed through the teacup to my hands at the right temperature.

As I quietly savored the spring night with my eyes, the sound of a cell phone ringing created ripples in the calm air.

My buttocks, which had planned to sit for a while longer, involuntarily moved away from the floor. I reached out to the table to check the screen. It was Jun.

What should I do? Already, joy had welled up on both cheeks.

“Kim Jun.”

Even in this single word, could he feel my lingering sadness from not seeing each other for three days?

[Sorry. What were you doing?]

Jun apologized first.

“Just looking up at the night sky from home.”

[Should I come to see that too? If I hurry, I might be able to reach your place in less than 30 minutes.]

My heavy eyelids blinked.

Already well past 9 PM. Jun must have just finished a tight schedule in Busan and come up to Seoul. The fact that Jun, who spent an unusual Sunday, was coming to see me with a body that had not yet fully recovered.

One worry gently settled on top of my joyful heart.

“You must be tired. It’s probably better to go straight to the hotel and rest…”

At that, a faint laughter flowed through the phone.

[For someone suggesting it’s better to go to the hotel and rest, you’re wagging your tail too much, aren’t you? Just saying it like trying it out.]

Jun’s words felt like they were poking my cheeks. As if saying, “I know everything about your heart,” poke, poke.

“No, I just miss you. But you must be tired, so I don’t want you to strain yourself because of me…”

[So, that’s why I’m going to recharge now. It might take less than 30 minutes. Just put on a jacket and come out. It’s a bit chilly tonight.]

The lingering scent of milk tea still remained in my mouth.

“Okay.”

It wasn’t a reluctant answer, but rather something said in the excitement of a happy heart.
After ending the call with a warm greeting, I tapped my lips with the back of my hand holding the phone. My excited heart couldn’t seem to calm down. Not that doing this would make it calm down.

For the next 30 minutes, I couldn’t possibly do anything else. The excitement that had already started to swell would reach its peak by the time Jun arrived at our house.

My heart, swelling gradually like dough, would flutter through the night sky, all fluffy and light.

I gathered my legs and rested my head on them. Feeling the excitement growing, I waited for Jun quietly.

Rrrrr. Rrrrr.

Before the bell indicating Jun’s arrival could finish ringing, I pressed the screen of the phone I was holding.

[Hey, Haru. I’m here now.]

“Yeah. I’ll go out right away.”

[Sure.]

There was a light laughter both before and after the word ‘sure.’

Whether a small squirrel was operating the elevator or if it was just today, the elevator seemed slow.

Slowly, as the elevator barely reached the third floor, an impatient feeling pulled my feet inside. Even after pressing 1, my eyes were only chasing the numbers going down one by one. Soon, the elevator door opened.

Just the arrival of the elevator on the 1st floor could make me so happy.

Beyond the mansion entrance, Jun appeared in my view, wearing gray suit pants and a white shirt.

It was Jun, whom I hadn’t seen in three days.

While my small feet somehow struggled to make big strides down, Jun’s warm gaze followed me.

When those steps finally reached Jun. Before those last steps, both feet met neatly, and Jun’s body leaned toward me. Jun’s arms and body embracing me were solid. Just from the sensation transmitted from Jun’s body leaning on me, I could tell that Jun was in a very tired state right now.

“All day at work, I almost died wanting to hug you like this…”

Jun’s usual lower voice was locked. It seemed hard to contain the body. Going straight there without resting with such a tired body. It felt like something hot was rising from Jun’s chest.

“Now, I might live a bit.”

Feeling helpless because there was nothing I could do for a Jun who seemed to have exhausted himself completely, I put strength into the arms wrapped around Jun’s waist and said.

“Jun.”

“Yeah…”

Without saying anything, just expressing that I wanted to be embraced like this.

“You look so tired.”

“Yeah… maybe.”

So, unintentionally, I said it. Out of a pitiful heart. At the end of my contemplation about what I could do, I gathered the courage and said.

“Well, want to rest a bit at our place?”

In that moment, it felt like strength was entering Jun’s body, which seemed like it could collapse at any moment.