We were just entering a small alley lined with mansions. I hesitated at Jun’s words, lowering my head and looking at the side of his face, trying to hide my expression. My one-sided gaze easily caught a tremor he hadn’t completely concealed.
“I wish there was a misunderstanding, that there was some circumstance I didn’t know about, that you had some excuse that would allow me not to resent you, to forgive you.”
“…….”
“But then I thought, I know your character, Iharu. And yet, you haven’t made any excuses to me, which probably means that even you don’t consider any reason as a justification.”
I couldn’t respond with a trivial dismissal. What you said was correct. And it will always be.
“I don’t think forcing this will change anything. I’m barely holding you back with the excuse of participating in the project, but I don’t know how long that can last.”
This was the first time Jun had revealed his feelings so quietly and calmly. I heard everything he said, but I couldn’t find any words to respond, merely pressing my lips together.
“Maybe this is just me complaining about how much I hated you, or maybe I’m just on the verge of breaking down.”
Jun stopped walking. I hastily stepped back and glanced at him briefly before lowering my gaze to my shoes. I waited quietly for what you were about to say next. A faint chuckle reached my ears first.
“To fill the absence of him in reality with you in my memories.”
“Oh, that was…”
“Listening to that sentence you wrote in the proposal during today’s briefing… I felt like my past nine years were somewhat compensated just by that one line.”
My lips, about to utter a meaningless excuse, were quietly sealed by your words, which felt like a compensation for the painful times.
“Still, it seems like I wasn’t entirely cast aside without reason.”
“…….”
“Even though the ‘absence of him in reality’ you talked about probably wasn’t referring to a day of loving me.”
“What does that mean…….”
“It just means you needed someone to love you, not necessarily me. So, regardless of the fact that you left me, you still cherished those memories. Of course, at some point, our sincerities began to diverge unknowingly.”
“We had moments of divergence, then.”
The time I believed you had abandoned me was irretrievable, no matter what I said.
So I couldn’t tell you that it was my ridiculous mistake that led to those long years of silence, preventing you from reaching me. I didn’t want to hurt you again as you were trying to move forward.
Especially not to you, who already had a girlfriend. I didn’t want to admit that my trivial mistake had caused you such deep pain. I thought there was no need to disrupt the peace you were trying to find.
If our memories were a source of pain for you, I was okay with you hating the me in those memories.
I thought it would be better if we couldn’t return to being ‘us’ again, hoping you could build thicker memories with your new lover over those burdensome ones.
Even if that was just an expression of my selfish desire to lighten my own heart.
But when you implied that there were moments when my feelings drifted away from you, I suddenly didn’t know what was best for you anymore.
“There’s no need to deliberately find such moments of divergence in our memories.”
“That’s exactly what proves I was unilaterally in love with you. And yet you tell me not to take it seriously.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“It’s okay. I didn’t mean to upset you with that. And Iharu, don’t be so withdrawn. Carrying around a rock-like bag like this doesn’t help.”
I let out a resigned sigh and nodded, following the changed course of the conversation as if agreeing with Jun. Teasing me about finally admitting it, Jun resumed walking, and I slowly followed by his side. Then, as if concluding his earlier thought, Jun spoke again.
“It feels complicated to get a bit closer to the truth of that day, but it’s also relieving. At least I found some consolation. I think I got a plausible reason to view those memories more leniently.”
“Consolation…”
“The consolation that, at least in those memories, I wasn’t abandoned by you.”
Perhaps Jun left the next part unsaid. The other side of ‘the consolation that I wasn’t abandoned in those memories’ was ‘the certainty that I was the only one abandoned.’
You didn’t abandon anything, neither did I.
My true feelings never abandoned you, but it just ended up that way.
The words that couldn’t even serve as a poor excuse never managed to push through my heavy lips.
Male lead is a clingy little husband
One-line summary: The male lead is initially an arrogant, noble, love-deprived brat, later a cute, clingy, scheming little jealous one.
Introduction:
One day, Lu Yuner’s soul transmigrates into a female-dominant world. She enters the Imperial Academy and takes up the position of a doctoral instructor, teaching classes and grading schoolwork.
One day, she encounters the young prince Su Qingwan secretly skipping class from the male academy.
As a result, Su Qingwan is punished.
From then on, Su Qingwan sees Lu Yuner as a “thorn in his side”.
But before long, this “thorn” becomes the person he cherishes most, and he goes to great lengths to win Lu Yuner’s affection.
Mini scene 1:
One day, the sun is high in the sky but Su Qingwan still hasn’t gotten up for class.
Servant Xiaoyuan: “Young prince, it’s time for class. You’ll be late otherwise.”
Su Qingwan says arrogantly: “I’m not going. I am the esteemed prince, my status is so noble, why should I suffer this hardship? Besides, isn’t learning all this just to please women? Hmph, they’re not worthy!”
Mini scene 2:
After Su Qingwan falls for someone, he completely changes. He no longer skips class and diligently learns how to be a good husband and father. But he discovers that Sister Yuner is always surrounded by admirers.
Drunk and overcome with jealousy one day, he clings to Lu Yuner, crying beautifully like a pear blossom in the rain.
Su Qingwan: “Qingwan likes Sister Yuner.”
Lu Yuner: “Young prince, you’re drunk.”
Su Qingwan: “Qingwan isn’t drunk. Qingwan likes Sister Yuner, likes you so much, likes you to bits…” Before he can finish, Lu Yuner’s eyes flash with emotion and she leans in closer.
[Reading Guide]
1. The female lead is gentle, gracious, humble and polite but not weak. The male lead is initially an arrogant, noble, love-deprived brat, later a cute, clingy, scheming little jealous one.
2. 1v1, a bit torturous in the beginning but definitely sweet later on.
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