“If you’re leaving, listen to what I have to say, understand everything, and then leave. Otherwise, I won’t let you go.”
“Iharu, you know how to say such things.”
His lips were smiling, but his eyes looked sad. Jun casually brushed off the words I just said and moved towards the small room.
“I’ll change my clothes and be back. It won’t be late by then.”
“…”
Eventually, Jun’s footsteps became silent along with the sound of the door closing. A slight dizziness came over me. A sigh, like cotton, weakly escaped from my mouth.
After a while, Jun, now in more comfortable attire, walked towards me. However, he just passed by me. Jun stopped by the sofa, inserted one hand into his pants, and looked around before casually speaking.
“Iharu, why are you standing like that? Just leave the sofa out in the open.”
“…It’s for this.”
Following my movements as I approached you, your gaze slowly moved. Jun didn’t step back or come closer to me. Even just watching that scene was painful and heart-wrenching.
Nevertheless, I walked towards you. When your gaze reached my nose, I unhesitatingly embraced you. I buried my face in your chest and tightly wrapped my arms around your waist.
“Iharu.”
“…”
“…Let go. I said I’m understanding. I’m not getting angry, I’m understanding. So, right now, I don’t want to hold you. My feelings, too…”
“That understanding, I said no. I don’t want that kind of understanding.”
I had never pushed my emotions so forcefully onto Jun. Perhaps that’s why Jun chose to remain silent instead of adding more words.
Yet, he didn’t wrap his arms around my shoulders. He didn’t try to pull away my arms. Jun’s consideration didn’t go beyond that.
“What’s your current state of mind?”
“…Not good.”
“If I ask, can you tell me the reason?”
Jun’s sigh spread thinly above my head.
“If you want to know how narrow the guy you like right now is, tell me. If that’s what you want to know, tell me.”
“…Tell me. Where it hurts, why it hurts. It doesn’t matter if it shows your narrow-mindedness; I want to hear everything.”
Jun’s chest, swallowing a sigh, transmitted irregularly beating movements to my pressed body. Even though I was so close to your heart, I still felt a bit sad that I couldn’t get closer to your pain.
“…I never imagined for a moment that there would be a man by your side for nine years. I’ve never imagined that.”
“…”
“While repeating that meaningless imagination, I realized something.”
“…”
“That you meeting other men. Naturally, I hated it. Just imagining it drove me crazy. But do you know what was more desperate than that?”
“…What was it.”
The end of my words trembled slightly. In fact, I didn’t want to hear it, and it was frightening. I wanted to pick up the words I had spat out.
“Repeating the meaningless imagination made me realize something.”
“…”
“That even without me by your side, you could love someone else enough, and therefore, you could be happier.”
“…”
“Now that my nauseating imagination has reached that point, I can finally understand. Even if I don’t know the reason why Iharu left me. Perhaps even if I live my whole life without knowing that reason. The damn understanding that I have to accept whatever that reason is.”
“Jun, I…”
At that moment, Jun’s hand grabbed my arm and pulled it downward. Although I resisted not wanting to let go belatedly, Jun could effortlessly detach me in his own way without exerting much force.
Only then did Jun’s face, filling my sight, completely reflect the traces of his pain from my memories. A severe pain, as if struck in the center of my chest, erupted.
“So, I told you. Right now, I just need time. Time to accept the fact that you once loved other men. Time to understand. So, in this busy time of loving you, I need time to ensure that my narrow-mindedness won’t hurt you.”
Jun’s words, like a plea, sounded like a commitment to convince me no matter how difficult it was. It seemed as if he were hiding the fear of leaving me, someone who could have been happy even in the absence of him, in the time without him.
Words that Jun didn’t want to tell me. Emotions that he tried to conceal. I felt them all.
That’s why I didn’t want to distance myself from you right now. I didn’t want to make the mistake of turning my back on you and witnessing your collapse. I didn’t want to repeat that.
I wanted to convince you. That there was never a moment when you were happy in the arms of someone other than me. That in every single moment, I always missed you.
All my precious moments were with you.
At that moment, Jun’s sad eyes couldn’t find a place to stay and fell lifelessly downward. I gently touched Jun’s fingertips and softly held his palm. The force with which he had forcefully pulled my arm away a while ago was gone from his hand. Jun’s lips sighed once again. Then again. Heavily, it sank down.
Jun, who briefly revealed the sincerity from the depths of his heart that he didn’t want to show me, looked exhausted.
When the male lead is punished by carrying the female lead’s child and having periods like a woman
“I’ve given birth to two children for you, yet you still think about him.
Was I nothing but his substitute to you from beginning to end?”
Synopsis:
Meng Huan, a scumbag who has dated countless girlfriends, transmigrates to a female-dominated country.
Day 1: Whether it’s female dominance or not doesn’t matter. The beauties here are passionate and amorous. Isn’t it easier to date them than in modern times?
Day 2: After a night, Meng Huan discovers the differences in the female-dominated world. Men here actually have chastity locks and menstrual cycles. This hinders his ability to perform, damn it!
Day 3: What’s wrong with sleeping around? I don’t want you to marry me. I’m meant to be a playboy. I don’t care about male virtues… What? You want to drown me in a pig cage? Marry, I’ll marry!
Day N: Meng Huan inexplicably vomits and receives the shocking news of his life… He’s pregnant.
_____
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