I couldn’t express such emotions in words here. I looked at Haru silently, keeping my lips sealed. Haru’s lips parted slightly.
In the meantime, Jihun’s slow gaze shifted momentarily towards Haru.
“So, Writer-nim, what about now? Are you still in love? I mean, precisely, the fifth love.”
“Mr. Jihun, why don’t we refrain from counting numbers in front of love? It gives the feeling that the previous loves are already meaningless, and the more you go back, the closer it gets to real love…”
Haru stopped talking. He glanced at me, subtly checking my reaction. I seemed to understand the reason.
Perhaps Haru wanted to stop here because later, due to me, he might have to explain something painful, as there was no timing or qualification to disclose it. While I was swallowing the cold water, feeling helpless to intervene, Haru’s hand suddenly reached under the table and lightly pulled the hem of my shirt. Judging by his expression, it seemed like he was saying he would explain later, asking me to hold back for now.
I didn’t feel like doing that, so I coldly turned my head forward. I reached down to take out my phone from my pocket, but in that moment, Haru grabbed my hand under the table. He quietly placed my hand on top, and started to intertwine his fingers with mine.
Yi Haru, I won’t just let this pass.
Although Haru conveyed his feelings by gripping my hand with strength, I was just feeling his touch. I heard Haru let out a faint sigh.
“Why are you silent?”
In the car heading home. I thought Jun would bombard me with questions as soon as we got in the car. However, even as we arrived home, Jun didn’t say anything.
“Do you really have to say something.”
He still didn’t seem to have the intention to speak first. But it wasn’t like his words had a soft ending.
If this situation continued in a straight line, it seemed like it would turn onto a long road, leaving aside the close path that would untangle Jun’s heart.
“Well, I’ll listen. Will you do that?”
“…What are you saying? If you wanted to hurt me, you’ve succeeded. You have to listen to what I say here too.”
With just a few short sentences, my heart sank down. Even in those few words, I could feel that you were upset. You hadn’t expressed it verbally, but you seemed to be trying to suppress the emotions that surged within you without showing them.
However, it wasn’t going as well as you thought. Trying not to be caught, he kept his lips sealed and repeatedly tried to swallow a sigh. Just watching that made a heavy weight settle in my chest. Eventually, it seemed like under the pressure of that weight, my chest would fall down to the ground, making it feel chilly.
Restlessness gathered at the fingertips. He toyed with the fingers on his knee. I couldn’t figure out where to start saying what I wanted to say.
“I’m sorry.”
The first words came out from Jun, not me.
“I’ll listen to what you have to say. I’m sorry, I was a bit upset.”
“…I understand. What kind of feelings you have.”
I had told Jun that he was my first and only love. Moreover, even during the nine years I wasn’t by his side, this fact hadn’t changed.
Jun, who could only wait, had been silently protecting that love alone. In the time when resentment and longing for me crossed dozens of times, he never gave up, never said it was a futile effort.
Even when I gave up this love and met other people, he was unwaveringly protecting it, even during the 9 years I wasn’t there.
So, I wasn’t the one who should receive an apology here. It shouldn’t have been me. However, my resolutions like this always gradually lagged behind Jun’s patience, which couldn’t leave me sad for long.
“I’m not hating you right now. I’m trying to understand.”
Jun’s words that he’s not hating and trying to understand. It sounded like he was making an effort not to understand me out of anger but to understand me.
The times I met you and loved you were suddenly cut off, and until that time reconnects to today. You didn’t have to like only me and wait during that time, just as I couldn’t stop my feelings for you during that time.
But why do I seem to be trying to hide my sadness in front of you, rather than trying to understand you?
From the start, it was something you could never accept. As if your long wait for me over the 9 years was inevitable. It’s as if you’re trying to quickly hide your sadness from me using the word ‘understand,’ pretending that your time, when Jun was not your only love, was something you could understand.
“Instead of understanding…”
“…What?”
“When you use the word ‘understand’ in times like this, it’s like saying, ‘I’ll hide the sad emotions just for you.’ So, not that.”
“…”
“Real understanding, not fake understanding, saying that I can provide it. I was about to say that just now.”
“…Fine. Let’s go down first.”
The car slid into the parking lot. After getting out of the car, the quiet air resonated with footsteps that were as disjointed as our hearts.
It was difficult to continue the interrupted conversation or have a casual conversation as if nothing had happened. Until we opened the front door and stepped inside, neither of us tried to start the conversation.
When we opened the front door, the air, heated due to the long absence, felt like it was settling over our heads.
Jun tossed his school jacket onto the sofa as if throwing it away and unbuttoned his shirt, then said, “Want to shower first? I’ll handle important emails and come up.”
“No. I don’t want to.”
It was too apparent to me that Jun was still trying to buy time to settle my emotions that I hadn’t fully hidden. So, I just said it. I didn’t want to do that.
Jun stopped in his tracks, looking at me with slightly surprised eyes.
Male lead says he’s pregnant — and it’s female lead’s child
Something seems a bit off about this world.
Wang Zhao thought as she watched a pregnant man walking towards her…
Intro
Female lead finds herself in a world where the men who possess the ability to bear children.
As she navigates this unfamiliar reality, she is caught off guard by the sudden appearance of her boyfriend, who reveals that he is pregnant.
Is this truly her boyfriend?
Why can’t she recall any details about their time together?
She begins to doubt whether the child her boyfriend is carrying is even hers.
Is there a hidden reason behind her amnesia, or could it be a side effect of her sudden arrival in this strange new world?
Just when it seems the protagonist’s life couldn’t become any more entangled, her ex-boyfriend makes an unexpected appearance, raising questions about the protagonist’s past.
__________
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