In the small rectangular screen, the face I missed appeared. I wondered how my face, which must have appeared on Jun’s screen by now, looked. Just a little while ago, my most serious concern had already folded away.

I didn’t want to waste a single second of this precious time I spent with you. It kept my gaze fixed on Jun, preventing me from looking away.

[“Not great.”]

“…Huh?”

The first empty question came out at the unexpected response. Was my face really not great just after waking up? But still, to say it’s not great face to face.

“…See? I told you I didn’t like it…”

[“No. I didn’t mean that. I thought it might be better even with a video call. It’s not much help. I want to see you more. Ihadu, I really miss you.”]

“…But you’re seeing me right now.”
Saying it not with that intention, I spoke, knowing that I wished even a little of the loneliness welling up in your heart could be relieved through these words.

[Even though I’m looking at you.]

“Yeah…”

[I want to hug you.]

“Yeah… Me too. I want to be held by you…”

[When we meet, I’ll be the one hugging you. Holding each other comes next.]

As I was about to playfully ask what meaning there was in deciding the order, in that moment, I realized that my intention was likely for my affection to reach him first. I nodded silently, acknowledging that fleeting thought.

[Yes, I’ll be the one hugging next.]

Jun chuckled. Then suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. Wait a moment. The hand holding the phone that was facing my face slowly pulled it towards my chest. What am I doing? Hugging the phone tightly while listening to Jun’s words.

As if Jun was nestled in my arms through the phone.

As if there was an illusion that Jun was being embraced in my arms.

Is it okay now? Shyly adjusting the phone and bringing my face close to the screen with anticipation, Jun appeared. Jun, as if trying to hide a laughter that wanted to burst out, traced his lips with the back of his hand, and his smile seemed to be trying to emerge.

“How is it? Is it better now?”

[Um… I don’t know… Can I be honest?]

“Yeah…”

[I only saw your chest.]

“Hey…”

[I’m telling the truth. I didn’t say I wanted to do anything. It just happened.]

“Kim Jun… Ha, just thinking like that.”

[I had other thoughts too. How do you see me?]

It was absurd to ask what I was being seen as and then make a fairly resentful expression. Saying to be honest. There was a momentary regret in the face that slightly complained and turned its head back.

Not caring and solidifying the expression like a statue, but then, thinking it wouldn’t work, he began to connect my words on his own.

[I wanted to comfort your heart even a little bit. I thought of your heart wanting to be a bit less lonely.]

“…”

[Because I’m looking at you, I want to hold you. But it’s not something I can do right away. Yet, I wanted to do something for your heart that wants to do something. So, I was staring so intently.]

Dumbfounded by words I wasn’t prepared to hear, Jun’s tender heart seemed to echo into my chest through my bewildered breath. Ah, now my eyes also felt a bit stingy.

In embarrassment, pushing away unnecessary awkwardness, I blurted out words that I didn’t mean to say.

“…So. You were staring intently at my chest?”

[…Well, yeah. As a side effect.]

In response to my questioning words, a rough response came back, asking what kind of words I wanted to hear. Then we both, without any need for words, burst into laughter. The pitiful glances we exchanged had been put away long ago.

To open today’s morning, which could have been endlessly sad, this brightly, it was all thanks to you, Jun.
We comforted each other’s hearts in our own way, hiding the loneliness in a corner of our hearts so that it wouldn’t suddenly raise its head. We made sure it couldn’t be brought out alone.

I took a deep breath and exhaled. As expected, there was no miraculous effect. After swallowing the sigh that had once scattered through the empty corridor, I confidently grabbed the door handle. Although this was clearly the office of the broadcasting station I worked for, I hesitated to enter willingly.

There was a reason. Because inside, Jung Eun would be sitting.

Just the day before, I had confidently told Jung Eun that I would break up with Jun in front of her, that I needed to let go of Jun now that I had his ankle. Even shedding tears subtly, it seemed like I now had to release him.

It had been merely two days since then, and now I was facing the awkward task of smiling broadly, saying, ‘Yes, that happened. It’s really a thing of the past.’

Ah… but I have to go in.

I stood there, as if I had forgotten how to turn the handle. It took quite a bit of time to muster the determination to turn this small handle.

As much as possible, I suppressed any noise from my footsteps. If you had to express the phrase ‘stealthily’ with gestures, my current appearance would fit it perfectly.

I exerted pressure on the tips of my toes to keep my shoes from falling off. I walked, hoping that the dull sound of my footsteps touching the ground would be as muted as possible.

After such painstaking steps, I finally reached my spot. It was a moment when I could finally exhale a sigh of relief.

“Iharu. Do you really think I wouldn’t notice if you walk like that? You’re really trying hard, too.”

Jung Eun’s words made me snap out of my thoughts as if I had just been hit in the back of my head.